This is an all too common mistake people make towards the more popular blog mods out there. They hold these people higher above others, and every little action they make dictates who they are and it’s just not fair. If we don’t respond to fans, we ‘don’t care about them’ because we’re apparently too stuck up to respond to “lesser beings”. If we do, we’re ‘egotistical’ and judged for every opinion we have, and ‘letting the fame get to our heads’.
Because we’re well known, people hold our work to standards beyond any they give to the lesser known blogs. Every little mistake is thrown up on a podium and pointed at, and because we’re supposedly popular and egotistical, we apparently wont ever improve our art or our story and we don’t like critique because we’re all a bunch of stuck up jerks or something.
I’ve been treated wonderfully on tumblr so far. I havn’t really let the negative stuff get to me. I respond to it, yes, but I respond to almost anything about me, positive or negative. Because I CARE about what people think of me, not because I’m paranoid about impressing everyone with my supposed “godly” presence that has been thrown on me by admirers.
If I ignore the negative stuff and only respond to the positive, people assume I’m ignoring progress and refuse to accept critique or the fact that I have flaws.
But at the same time, if I respond to the negative, no matter how calm, collected, and open I am to the comment… People accuse me of being dramatic and- surprise surprise- unable to accept change and critique. Even when I bluntly say ‘I have a lot to improve on, I’m not perfect, I know’, people seem to insist that I’m being overly defensive of myself.
I’m not. I’m really not. I’m not good enough to be noticed anywhere other than the pony fandom. I’m not good enough to publish my art anywhere. I’m not as good as a lot of artists out there, not by a long shot. I’m still learning as I go. I look back a month in my own blog and I go “Oh my god that looks terrible, what was I doing there?” which is proof enough that I’ve been improving as I go. There wont ever be a day where I will feel fully satisfied with my skill. Ever.
People may not know, but I’ve drawn so many new things I’ve never drawn before in my blog. I’m learning how to draw perspective and inanimate objects my biggest weaknesses in art.
Another note: Please don’t compare yourselves to me as a way to judge your own art. No matter what, there will always be a ‘bigger fish’ out there. I am not a god, I am not an idol, I am not even all that amazing, and it hurts so much to see other people drop their art because of me. It’s happened so much because they sit there judging themselves against what I do, when I’ve had over 17 years of experience and schooling backing me up.
And you know what? I smile and appreciate when even beginning artists come to show me what they do, because I want to be an inspiration but I do not in any way want to be a goal. I am NOT a goal, alright? I don’t care how ‘bad’ your art may be, it’s still something you worked on and you were brave enough to draw it, and that’s what matters.
A lot of my life was spent in others’ shadows, and compared to the kids I was in school with, I was just a worthless sap who was left unnoticed in the shadow of AMAZING prodigy artists. There are days I look at other art and go “What am I missing? Why can’t I reach this level of artistic ability? Why can’t I ever seem to reach the quality that will actually be worth something?”
Every. Single. Day.
I am just a jobless idiot who wants to sell my art but can’t because I’m still missing so much that I need to learn.
Also, just look at me. Look at me. I’m so ashamed of myself that I have to hide behind a fake name. I’m really just a person who has lost themselves and I am trying to hard to find who I am again. I’m really not someone to look up to right now because I’m really a very broken and hurting person…
- Submitted by discordwhooves
Blogging here as well because this is for all of you. Also, to those who call this whining, congratulations. You’ve just proven you can’t read paragraphs and only read the image, thus making yourself look like a jerk.
